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  • Oh! waking is a bitter nightmare..when you constantly hang around the fringes of my dreams..

    ..my foundation is crumbling and shattered glass is falling all over sidewalks..

    ..i am collapsing and i am collapsing on myself.. i am shards of glass..and i am the person being wounded by the glass..

    ..there is a certain beautiful honesty about depression..

    ..will Candy and honey not ..sweeten the Bitter acrimony of life? ..if truth indeed be a fallacy, then should reality not be a lie?

    Truth is like water. A little of it quenches your thirst Too much of it..and you drown.

    Monday, November 17, 2003

    maybe im just tired of all this superficial shit
    words that speak but do not communicate
    thoughts running through my head,
    like a noose, strangulating me
    Choking and coughing,
    jerking like a dying fish on the shore

    Im no Blake, and Im no Plath,
    But Forgive me , because i just need to write
    to tame these wild thoughts
    and to emoliate this abraised heart

    like an executioner in the dark of the night
    my depression drapes me in black cloth
    Icy white fingers wrap around my neck
    i become a prisoner in my own mind

    Surrounded by a crowd at once
    but yet I only see shadows
    Hearing Sounds, seeing faces
    but my voice echoes throught the empty room

    Grinning sardonically like some puppet
    indeed these strings are not mine own
    movements actions gestures
    conceived from some other

    I scream
    but only desolate silence greets me
    i shout
    but emptiness reverberates around me
    I cry
    but tears get sucked into my

    smile

    At the world

    Smile

    back at me
    not a smile not a grin not a laugh nor a smirk
    nothing here but emotionless
    masked behind a colourful Fallacy called LIFE

    to live and to die
    what a pleasure it is to feel
    what use is it
    when you cannot

    express

    that joy nor that pain
    buried in the realms of your

    subconcious
    maybe thoughts, maybe ur words
    can bring it to surface
    but no life

    no, life
    will not allow
    you to

    nor i



    dawn fairy on the moon at 11/17/2003